If Mr. T and Hulk Hogan had a baby,
I'd drink it's blood.
I'd hunt it down just like Rambo,
I'd skin it alive and roll in the mud.
If Godzilla and Dr. Who threw a party,
I'd blow it up.
Character actors writhing in flames,
"They Die Screaming!" coming this summer.
If Don Knotts was a traffic cop
I'd run him down in the car of Satan.
His bulging eyes and funny faces
Stain the pavement, it's maximum overdrive!
Cause I am a monster and I will destroy you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
As you slumber I creep upon you,
I'm right behind you in your nightmares!
Nightmares! Boo!
If Gary Busey and Angela Lansbury were getting busy
I'd make it three.
Touching their bodies, and getting them slimy,
Busting a nut, fulfilling their needs.
If Jason Vorhees moved in next to me
I'd steal his lawn art and swallow his soul.
He'd show me ways to chase teenagers,
To fly through forests and live forever.
If Captain Kirk and Casey Kasem did their laundry
I'd steal their stuff
I'd give'em candy, and slip in a roofie,
Then take their picture without their clothes.
Cause I am a weirdo and I will pursue you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
You hear me mumble, licking my fingers
I'm right behind you in your nightmares!
Nightmares! Boo!
If Dom DeLuise made his own gravy,
Well, that would be funny, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
There'd be dancing on the TV
With Turkish coffee and coleslaw.
If there was a war between The Ewoks and planet Melmac
There would be blood.
The fur would be flying, and gory stuffing,
Millions are dying and I approve.
If Wilford Brimley and The Ghost of Presley made a movie
I'd be the star.
We'd never grow old, we'd never die of diabetes.
Viva Las Vegas!
I am a Heman and I will control you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
Feather my mullet, flexing my muscles,
I'm spending time with you in you nightmares!
Nightmares!
I'm alright, do you hear me? I'm alright.
I'm cold and I want to come in now, I hear things.
Listen, I want you to watch Clarke and watch him close.
He spent a lot of time with those dogs.
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