1. |
I Want My Cake
02:59
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I want my cake, Bedelia
Where's my cake?
It's father's day, Bedelia
Where's my cake?
Screaming, hear me screaming
How can you ignore?
Leaches, you're all leaches
Sucking on my corpse
I bang my cane, call you names
You laugh and help yourself.
Worthless, you're all worthless
Hoity toity drunks
Where's my cake, Bedelia?
I want my cake
It's father's day, Bedelia
Where's my cake?
Never forget, Never forget
How you smashed my head
All I ever asked for was a little attention
And now I'm dead
You celebrate throwing me away
You're spitting on my grave
Murder, it was murder,
And soon you'll pay
Where's my cake, Bedelia?
I want my cake
It's father's day, Bedelia
Where's my cake?
There's a smile on my face
On this special day
Gonna blow out the candles
And eat your brain
Because I got my cake, I got my cake
I finally got my cake
I got my cake, I got my cake
I finally got my cake
I got my cake, I got my cake
I finally got my cake
I got my cake, I got my cake
I finally got my cake, Bedelia
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2. |
Everybody Dies
01:40
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Let's get tornadoes in this piece
Let's get tornadoes in this room
Let's get tornadoes in this bitch
Let's get tornadoes up in here
And now Earthquake, Volcano
Earthquake, Volcano
Earthquake, Volcano
Earthquake, It's a fucking Volcano
Tsunami, Tsunami, Tsunami, Tsunami
And now everybody dies, everybody dies
Everybody dies, everybody dies
An Awesome Death, An Awesome Death
An Awesome Death, An Awesome Death
Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow
Let's get some rabies in this piece
Let's get some rabies in this room
Let's get some rabies in this bitch
Let's get some rabies up in here
And now Mad Cow, Malaria
Swine Flu, Malaria
Zika, Malaria
Disco Fever
Ebola, No huggy, no kissy
Ebola, don't touch your friends
Ebola, No huggy, no kissy
Ebola, keep your tongue out dey mouth
And now everybody dies, everybody dies
Everybody dies, everybody dies
An Awesome Death
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3. |
Pigeon Rider
03:32
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Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. All night
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night
What kind of crimes can a pigeon solve?
What kinds of rights can a pigeon wrong?
What sort of secrets does a pigeon hold?
Who rides the pigeon? Where does he go? (sweet echo)
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. All night, all night, all night
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night
Ride through the day and into the stormy night
Ride through the rain and the sleet and the snow and the ice
Ride through the wind, and through heavier wind
Ride if you must into the apocalypse
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. He rides all night.
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. He rides all night.
What kind of rhymes can a pigeon bust?
How can you earn a pigeon's trust?
What sort of flesh does a pigeon lust for?
Who rides the pigeon? Who does he work for? (sweet echo)
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. All night, all night, all night.
Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider, Pigeon Rider
Riding through the night. He rides all night.
Ride!
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4. |
Where Did My Beer Go
02:53
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Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go ho ho?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go ho ho ho ho?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
I'm sweaty and I'm hot.So hot.
I'm taking my shirt off. Put it back on buddy, put it back on.
It's been a long day in the sun,
And I need something on my tongue. Ooh yeah.
Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go ho ho?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Where did my beer go? Where is my beer ho ho ho?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Been running round all day.
Gotta lotta shit on my brain.
Need to sit and rest a spell.
And I needs to find my ale. Aw, hell.
Working hard all day for a dollar and a nickle
Get my day of rest find myself in a pickle
Been musing and mumbling and stumbling about
Getting lost in my thoughts and I can't figure out
Where is my refreshment? Where is my peace?
I'm a man of simple taste, little that I need.
Just collect my thoughts, enjoy the night and chill.
Need my ease guaranteed with a cold and malted pill
Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Where did my beer go? Where did my beer go?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
Where did my beer go? Where is my beer?
I don't know, but I'm thirsty.
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5. |
Trumpression
02:26
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I don't want to talk to anyone anymore.
I don't want to argue on the internet anymore.
I don't want to look at my news feed.
I don't want to know what's happening.
Sad! Sad! Sad!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression! It really hurts!
I don't want to look at his orange and pudgy face.
I don't want to hear the sound of his hateful voice.
I don't want to be a citizen under a white supremacist.
Dogs! Slobs! Disgusting! You're not a ten!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression! I'm freaking out!
I don't know if I can four years of this.
I never saw myself as an activist.
Should I raise my voice? Should I raise my fist?
Can I handle this? Can I sit on my hands through this?
I don't want to go to work and bankroll this bullshit
I want to stay inside my house and stock up on soup cans.
I need a new understanding or a space shuttle off this planet.
Fuck Trump! Fuck Trump! Nazi Punk! Fuck Trump! Grab him by the cock!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression!
I've got Trumpresion! Trumpression! I'm pissed off!
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6. |
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Eyeball Butthole Sandwich. Hot Dog.
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7. |
My Manhood
02:40
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And when I'm lonely, it isn't boring,
There's always something to do.
Don't call me desperate, I'm not degenerate,
This isn't anything new.
So please don't judge me about my pudgie
Cause we don't play by your rules.
Well, all it is is fun, and it don't hurt no one.
It's called maintaining your tools.
And now I feel alright, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
And everything is out of sight, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
My penis. My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
If I'm feeling down, I don't wear a frown,
Well I just give my bone a shine.
Nothing on TV? Well that's OK with me,
I'm prime to make some time.
I'm pulling up the shades, it's nothing too risque
This is just for me and me.
But if you need a grin take it for a spin,
Check it out. Check it out and see.
And now I feel alright, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
And everything is out of sight, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
My penis. My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
(masturbatory Theremin solo)
I got a message about a mansage
For all the Kings and Presidents.
Put down your dukes, we don't need your nukes,
We just need you to relax.
Feeling all uptight, and itching for a fight?
Well it's time to grab a different gun.
But go at your own pace, cause this is not a race,
And do not shoot at anyone.
And now I feel alright, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
And everything is out of sight, I got my penis,
My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
My penis. My penis, penis. My penis, penis.
My penis, my penis, penis, penis. My penis, penis, penis
My penis, my penis, penis, penis, penis. My penis, penis, penis,penis
My penis, my penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.
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8. |
The Bull
04:02
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The Matador, standing so cavalier,
Waves his hand as the audience cheers.
He snatches a rose from out of the air
As he prances round the ring without any cares.
The Bull is angry, The Bull is drunk.
The Bull is wounded, covered in blood.
His vision blurred, his senses thick,
The Matador is clever, sharp and quick,
But The Bull, The Bull, The Bull kills The Matador.
He flips The Matador, rips into The Matador.
The Bull, The Bull, The Bull fillets The Matador,
Eviscerates The Matador!
Obliterates The Matador!
The Bull, The Bull
The Bull, The Bull
Armed with a lasso, chaps and chaw,
With spit in his eye and a gritty drawl,
He's a Cowboy, manliest of men,
And he'll ride anything with just his gloves and hands.
The Bull is angry, The Bull is pissed.
He saw The Cowboy beat up one of his kids.
He saw him tie it down, and smack it around,
And then he taunted it with motherfucking rodeo clowns!
So The Bull, The Bull, The Bull kills The Cowboy.
He stomp The Cowboy, open up The Cowboy.
The Bull, The Bull, The Bull rides The Cowboy,
Sing song upon The Cowboy
How he totally fucked up that cowboy.
The Bull, The Bull
The Bull, The Bull
Stinking of death, guts and rot,
Hell on Earth, The Slaughterhouse.
A slug in the head, a slice of the throat,
On the conveyor belt of no return.
The Bull is angry and wants revenge.
He breaks through and tears into the butcher men.
Through screams of pain the machinery stops,
And then a heard of bulls heads to the nearest fast food joint.
Now The Bull, The Bull, The Bull is victorious,
He turned around on us and trampled every one of us.
The Bull, The Bull, The Bull rules The Universe!
Attacking all of us and tracking down the last of us.
The Bull, The Bull
The Bull, The Bull
The Bull, The Bull
The Bull, The Bull
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9. |
Fan Fiction
04:04
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If Mr. T and Hulk Hogan had a baby,
I'd drink it's blood.
I'd hunt it down just like Rambo,
I'd skin it alive and roll in the mud.
If Godzilla and Dr. Who threw a party,
I'd blow it up.
Character actors writhing in flames,
"They Die Screaming!" coming this summer.
If Don Knotts was a traffic cop
I'd run him down in the car of Satan.
His bulging eyes and funny faces
Stain the pavement, it's maximum overdrive!
Cause I am a monster and I will destroy you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
As you slumber I creep upon you,
I'm right behind you in your nightmares!
Nightmares! Boo!
If Gary Busey and Angela Lansbury were getting busy
I'd make it three.
Touching their bodies, and getting them slimy,
Busting a nut, fulfilling their needs.
If Jason Vorhees moved in next to me
I'd steal his lawn art and swallow his soul.
He'd show me ways to chase teenagers,
To fly through forests and live forever.
If Captain Kirk and Casey Kasem did their laundry
I'd steal their stuff
I'd give'em candy, and slip in a roofie,
Then take their picture without their clothes.
Cause I am a weirdo and I will pursue you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
You hear me mumble, licking my fingers
I'm right behind you in your nightmares!
Nightmares! Boo!
If Dom DeLuise made his own gravy,
Well, that would be funny, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
There'd be dancing on the TV
With Turkish coffee and coleslaw.
If there was a war between The Ewoks and planet Melmac
There would be blood.
The fur would be flying, and gory stuffing,
Millions are dying and I approve.
If Wilford Brimley and The Ghost of Presley made a movie
I'd be the star.
We'd never grow old, we'd never die of diabetes.
Viva Las Vegas!
I am a Heman and I will control you,
I'm waiting for you in your nightmares!
Feather my mullet, flexing my muscles,
I'm spending time with you in you nightmares!
Nightmares!
I'm alright, do you hear me? I'm alright.
I'm cold and I want to come in now, I hear things.
Listen, I want you to watch Clarke and watch him close.
He spent a lot of time with those dogs.
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10. |
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I am a happy bear and I live in a state park.
One misty morning I stepped out on my porch.
Looked up into the sky and screamed at what I saw.
I could not believe my eyes so I grabbed my camera phone.
It was so amazing I started to cry, and then I started to laugh,
But then I cried.
This is the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me.
But what is it really? What does it mean?
Oh My God, It's a Double Rainbow!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
I'm freaking out at the Double Rainbow!
Oh My God, Aaaaaah!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
It's a full on Double Rainbow! Total Rainbow!
It's almost a Triple Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
It's so vivid! It's so bright!
It's in my front yard!
Ho ho ho ho it's so intense!
Oh ho ho. Whoa!
Oh My God, It's a Double Rainbow!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
I'm freaking out at the Double Rainbow!
Oh My God, Aaaaaah!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
I must share my experience with everyone in the world.
I saw a Double Rainbow and my story must be told.
Twas a gift from Mother Nature arched across the sky,
And it made me laugh, but then I cried.
Oh My God, It's a Double Rainbow!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow!
I'm freaking out at the Double Rainbow!
Oh My God, Aaaaaah!
Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow! Double Rainbow! All the way!
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11. |
Pat Wood
02:26
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Who'd ride a mini motorbike down a muddy ol'river?
Pat Wood
Who'd cook twenty fish for everybody dinner?
Pat Wood
Who'd fix the internet for the kind and strange?
Whose BB gun will always shoot straight?
He gets a little crazy but he ain't insane
He's Pat Wood
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
Who'd bring Modelo to your shit keg party?
Pat Wood
Champion of box car death race derby
Pat Wood
Who jumps around at the such good shows?
Whose guinea pig has the cutest nose?
Whose got mad fresh minimart freestyle flow?
It's Pat Wood
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
Whose jumpsuit has the flashing blue lights?
It's Pat Wood
Who'd conquer stairwells on his low rider bike?
It's Pat Wood
Who brought a frisbee and a football to the pool?
Whose got pockets and labels for his tools?
Who can always go for some Hall & Oats tunes?
It's Pat Wood
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
P-A-T W double O D P-A-T W double O D
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12. |
||||
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Eyeball Butthole Sandwich. Hot Dog.
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13. |
I Am Ming
04:31
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Your puny planet is my plaything
Before I destroy you.
Hot hail from a crimson sky,
And lots of volcanoes.
Pathetic Earthlings don't stand a chance
Against my awesome power.
You feel the sting of the fist of Ming
And you tremble and cower.
My rule extends to the farthest planet,
I'm looking pimp in my gowns of satin.
I am Ming the Merciless,
Ruler of the universe.
My gaze can paralyze
And I laugh as I watch you die.
A crackpot names Zarkoff
Crash landed my pad.
Reaching out in the name of peace
He gets the back of my hand.
I crush his will, I steal his thoughts,
I wipe his brain clean.
He joins the ranks of my massive army.
He now belongs to Ming.
You little shits think that you can resist me?
There is no escape from The Ming Almighty!
I am Ming the Merciless,
Ruler of the universe.
I am infinity
And your ass belongs to me.
The Earth maiden is a sassy lass,
I like her pretty face.
She'll please me as my newest bride
Until I jettison her into space.
He fair haired and muscly friend
Thinks that I could be overturned.
I'll feed him to the lizard men,
Or torture him with the ball worms.
Not the ball worms!
I'll teach you what the Hawkmen already know:
Bow to me or pay the toll!
I am Ming the Merciless,
Ruler of the universe.
I am dark and depraved
And you are all my slaves.
Hot Dog.
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